Tuesday, November 18, 2014

21JUL10 I am cold

and the air blows over me, the sweater, ratty and long
does not protect me from the cold
I think about the end of the workday
how long it will be before it gets here
how long it will be before I have to go back
to the house with the family
I did not behave very well yesterday
I was tired and wanted no more of it
I wanted no more of his inquiries
and his jealousy
he came back
he insinuated himself into my life again
he vacillates between love and hate
I only feel the hate
the jealousy, his touch should be a comfort
but there is so much history behind it
so much anger, so much distrust
I wish I could be the girl I was before
but I can't
I'll not disavow the kinship that
carried me thru the separation
that carries me now thru the darker times
the misunderstandings
I will pull my sweater closer and think of the next
thing to do.

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